good communication; an important key to success
It’s smart for all of us to ask ourselves, from time to time,”How well do I communicate?” Effective communication requires understanding the emotion behind the information. It combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to recognize our own emotions, as well as, those of the person we are communicating with.
Conversations should be a balanced two-way flow of dialogue. Regular use of courtesy words and phrases, i.e., “Please”, “Thank you”, “You’re Welcome”, “I’m sorry” is important in building rapport. Rapport is also built by smiling at appropriate times during the conversation. Making eye contact lets the other person know you are engaged in the dialogue. Occasionally nodding your head to indicate you agree or understand shows interest in what is being said. Leaning forward slightly and facing the speaker shows you are paying attention.
On the other hand, crossing your arms over your chest may be interpreted as feeling defensive; not receptive to the message being delivered. Leaning back with your body or turning your body away from the speaker can indicate boredom, disinterest or feeling “in charge”. Such body language breaks down rapport. Anxiety or nervousness is evident with a swinging or bobbing foot.
Communicate at eye level; if the other person is seated, sit down if a chair is available. The exception to this rule is when you walk into a supervisor’s or co-worker’s office. It is best, in this situation, to wait for an invitation to sit. The person may not have time to talk at that moment.
When someone talks about a sad or unfortunate experience, it is important to demonstrate empathy with an appropriate comment regarding the situation. Never assume the speaker knows how you feel regardless of how close a relationship you share.
To draw people’s attention in a favorable way, it is necessary, when discussing a subject, to focus on the good aspects of the topic. People are generally more attracted to a person who has a “positive outlook on life”. And when it comes to work evaluations, positive-minded people generally do better.
It is fine to disagree, but communication is most effective when:
1) you show respect for the other person’s ideas
2) listen attentively until the person is done
3) ask questions if needed
4) disagree in a non-judgmental manner and, if possible
5) offer an alternative solution
If you observe people at a gathering, you’ll notice people naturally gravitate toward people considered “approachable”. Approachable people are the ones who smile; they are the ones who add humor and lightness to conversations; they are the one who listen and demonstrate interest in what others have to say. They are, in a nutshell, good communicators. If communication, in general, or a particular conversation is troubling you, consider calling the EAP to schedule an appointment to discuss your concerns in a confidential setting.
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