handling holiday stress

The holiday season typically brings a significant amount of stress. We feel its presence when we experience fatigue, irritability, insomnia, muscle aches, anxiety and/or a compromised immune system. “Easing up on yourself over the holidays is important because the connection between stress and illness is real,” says Simon A. Rego, PsyD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. Stress can lead to a number of serious health concerns; including obesity, diabetes, depression, heart disease, psoriasis, shingles, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease.
The good news is that by following a few practical tips, we can effectively minimize our holiday stress.
1) First and foremost, take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Before a holiday party, eating a healthy snack can make it easier to resist overindulging on high calorie food. To emotionally deal with the demands of the holidays, it is very important to keep your body in good condition.
2) When you feel overwhelmed, ask for help from family and friends. Remember that others will be more prone to respond positively to your requests for help if you approach them in a positive and appreciative manner.
3) Be realistic with your holiday goals. It is not necessary for decorations, traditions, gifts and food to be perfect in order to be enjoyable and memorable. Some of the family you hoped would be present at your holiday table may have other plans. Don’t allow their absence to ruin your mood. Decide to have a good time and enjoy those who are present.
4) Try to avoid conflict. This is a time when you want to accept family and friends as they are, setting aside hurts and disappointments. The discussion of grievances is more appropriately handled after the holidays. Try to be patient when others get upset, recognizing that they are probably feeling the stress of the holidays.
5) Decide on a budget and stick to it. Overspending leads to guilty feelings, shame and financial stress. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to buy happiness for those you love.
6) Plan family gatherings and activities in advance and say “No” when you need to. Always saying yes can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. If you can’t participate in every activity or project, it doesn’t make you a BAD person. To the contrary, it may make you a wiser, less anxious person. If it’s not possible to say “No” to your boss’ request to work overtime, try to remove something else from your schedule.
7) When you feel stressed, take some time for yourself. Even 15 minutes without distraction can refresh you; listen to soothing music, take a warm bath, slow your breathing, clear your head, find a way to restore your inner calm.
8) If you need it, seek professional help. When, despite your best efforts to reduce the stress in your life, sadness, anxiety and/or irritability continue to plague you remember Tanner EAP. Tanner EAP is a professional counseling service that is available, at no charge, for you and your family members

May your HOLIDAYS be happy and fun!

smile

A simple behavior can have tremendous influence. A smile is a universally known and understood gesture. It transcends all languages and cultures. The act of smiling has been shown in scientific research to:
• Change your mood in the direction of being happier
• Release endorphins which are natural painkillers
• Make you appear more attractive to others
• Make you more likely to receive help from others
• Boost the immune system and make you less likely to get sick
• Lower your blood pressure
• Increase customer satisfaction ratings
• Make you appear more confident and therefore more likely to be promoted
• Contribute to marriage stability and longer life expectancy
• Be contagious

But we get caught up in the stress and drama of our lives and we forget.

Here are some ways to remind yourself and others to engage in this powerful action more often.
• Keep a picture of someone you love in a place you will see it
• Think of some things/people/events for which you are thankful
• Keep a gratitude journal
• Listen to a song that makes you smile
• Get in the habit of smiling at yourself in mirrors
• Read something humorous, uplifting, and/or touching
• Have fun! Do something you really enjoy every once in awhile
• Laugh! Make it a priority to laugh
• Take care of yourself – if you feel better you are more likely to smile
• Do something nice for someone. Their smile may make you smile
• Play with a child or a pet
• Watch a funny movie, television show, or Youtube video
• Recall an event from your past that makes you smile

If all else fails, fake it ‘til you make it. Even a forced or contrived smile has been shown to provide the benefits listed above.

If you are finding it more difficult to smile because of stress in your life consider scheduling an appointment with the Employee Assistance Program. Call 770-834-8327 or email us through this website: http://www.tanner.org/Main/ContactTannerEAP.aspx

“I don’t smile because I’m happy. I’m happy because I smile.”
William James

“He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.”
Japanese Proverb

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
W.C. Fields

“Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. “
Author Unknown

anticipation

What's anticipation of special events or anniversaries like for you?  Most of us experience the whole range of emotions as though we were participating in the actual event. For instance, do you have a birthday coming up soon?  If you do and you're worried about getting older you may find that feelings of despair and discouragement begin creeping up days or even weeks before the occurrence. On the other hand, if birthdays excite you with feelings of newly discovered wisdom or simply a sense of "I made it through one more," the positive anticipation is just as likely to build to a crescendo as the day moves closer.

"Anxiety," one form of anticipation, is sometimes defined as "needless worry about something that hasn't happened yet."  While technically that may be true, the reality is that some anxiety about the future is in fact a healthy thing.  Do you plan for retirement or do you just trust the winds of fortune to take care of you?  Do you schedule an annual physical assessment or pretend you are as indestructible as a teenager?  We may not particularly enjoy doing so, but we buy groceries so we can eat next week and we pay the monthly bills to ensure that the electricity and the gas remain on.

Lately, we've probably all noticed news stories about the upcoming tenth anniversary of 9-11.  The anticipation of the day creates anxiety for many of us.  Whether that anxiety is only mildly disturbing or becomes fearfully disabling depends for the most part on how we decide to think about it.  September 11, 2001, was frightening beyond imagination!  To say that it changed how we live is, at best, an understatement.  So how do we maintain a healthy anxiety about September 11, 2011?  Here are a few suggestions:

• Remember the reasons for observing the day.  Trying to "forget" unpleasant memories usually results in more anxiety.  Remember the lost and the survivors.  Remember the responders who continued to work for days and weeks.  Remember the lessons learned about caring, and cooperation, and courage.
• Spend time with your closest friends and family.  Being with those most supportive of us often renews our faith in what is good and what is truly important.
• Find someone to wish a "good day" to or to do something nice for. Anxiety and depression are almost always lessened when we turn our attentions to helping others.
• Breathe deeply and take a walk.  Inhale slowly, counting to seven--then exhale slowly. Deliberate relaxation and moderate exercise are terrific not only for reducing anxiety but for improving one's physical and mental health.
• Practice thanksgiving (and read the first three again).

If the anxiety doesn't go away or at least let up substantially, you may want to speak to a professional counselor about other things you can do.  If we can help at Tanner EAP, just call us.  770.834.8327

eap and your health

While doing research for an upcoming presentation for Tanner’s cardiac rehabilitation program I came upon some information I thought might be of interest to a wider audience.
• Stress management and relaxation training have been shown to decrease the likelihood of a second heart attack (after suffering a first) by 75%.
• A study reported in Circulation compared treatment for emotional distress with conventional medical treatment alone among 150 men with comparable heart disease severity. The men who were taught stress reduction techniques were four times less likely to die after nine years.
• Stress helps account for two-thirds of family doctor visits and, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, half the deaths to Americans under 65.
• Several studies have shown a direct relationship between unresolved anger and physical illness.
• Excessive stress compromises the immune system which increases the likelihood of many illnesses.
• Relaxation training has been shown to reduce symptom reports and acid exposure in patients with GERD.
Many physicians take seriously the impact of stress upon physical and mental health and often recommend counseling in addition to medical treatment. The Employee Assistance Program is a benefit that can be of great value in maintaining and restoring our physical as well as our mental health. If you or a family member have chronic pain, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, acid-reflux disease, or any of the dozens of illnesses that have been shown to be helped by counseling, stress management, and the learning of more effective coping skills, consider a call to your confidential EAP provider. 770-834-8327

in like a lamb, out like a lion

Few of us have not heard the folk saying, “If March comes in like a lamb, it will go out like a lion,” or the reverse, of course. While the adage may more likely originate from astrology than from meteorology, the truth is that it has a 50/50 chance of being correct in any given year. Not really bad odds.

March is a fickle if not even erratic month. Sitting on the edge of Winter and Spring, its weather tends to flip-flop from warm to cold to wet or windy to higher or lower than average or “normal,” whatever that really is. Does it sort of make you think about some people you know? They run hot, then cold. They’re easy to be with, then difficult. Their moods and behavior exhibit the whole range of “normal,” again, whatever that is.

When dealing with difficult people, here are a few things to keep in mind. First, be empathetic. Making an effort to understand where they are coming from isn’t only about treating them fairly, it’s also about treating yourself fairly. Understanding the reasons they think or act as they do, makes it easier for you to anticipate their moods and even their behavior.

Second, be yourself—your best self, that is. There’s no need to be harsh or judgmental, but a little honesty won’t hurt. Often, when someone is being difficult, they are likely to respond to another being direct or honest about what they see. You don’t have to be a therapist to reflect to the other person that their words or their behavior are not easy to be with.

Third, try to limit your exposure. Most people I know have their plate full, so to speak, with obligations and responsibilities. Limiting the amount of time you spend with someone who seems to require extra effort, allows your time with others to be more enjoyable. It’s in that enjoyment that we tend to derive energy for dealing with situations and people that are more stressful.

And last, do some things that regenerate and revitalize your own reserves. Nutritious foods, adequate rest, uplifting conversation, and a little exercise are essential to positive mental and physical health. After all, if you are taking good care of yourself, it’s less likely that someone else may write a blog (with you in mind) about how to deal with difficult people!