sandwiched between generations

What is the Sandwich Generation? It is a time when a couple or individual is dealing with issues relating to the financial, physical, and/or emotional support of their children/grandchildren, thinking about their own retirement, and yet facing the issue of coping with aging parents who require assistance.  The term sandwich generation is quite fitting - caregivers are stuck between the needs of their parents and the needs of their immediate family….  It can be absolutely exhausting. 

At least 22% of the current American population, some 44 million people, can be classified as the Sandwich Generation.  Some estimates show that within the next ten years nearly two/thirds of the baby boom generation will be taking care of an elderly parent.  This care may take place in the caregiver’s own home or from a distance, whereby the caregiver checks on the aging person and provides necessary services, like paying bills, buying groceries, scheduling appointments, providing transportation, setting up medications.

Many in the Sandwich Generation face major stress in their finances, emotions, physical health and relationships.  And what happens to those dreams for a secure retirement, travel and slowing down? 

Family caregivers frequently have to deal with new, unfamiliar problems and learn new skills. They must do this in the context of strong emotional relationships.  They must also involve the older person as much as possible in his or her own care.  The best way to avoid a severe sense of helplessness is for the older person to retain as much control as possible.  If the older person has not been involved in the plan, he or she is much more likely to refuse the help or to sabotage its effectiveness.  At the same time, family members need to take care of themselves so that they are able to provide the long-term care required while maintaining quality in their own lives.  Be practical. Don’t overload yourselves emotionally, physically or financially. If the aging parent demands/expectations/needs become overwhelming it is important to take time to step back from the situation to be better able to make rational decisions regarding her/his care.  You can only do what you can do.  Talking to a professional can help you see the whole picture and develop options that provide relief.  Please remember Tanner EAP is a good resource for venting and exploring options.