Research related to posttraumatic growth names (a) social support and (b) spirituality/meaning as the two most important factors supporting resiliency during times of stress and trauma. Social support involves cultivating a network of trusted relationships in which we can disclose our most intimate struggles and feel supported and understood. Spirituality/meaning helps us maintain a larger life perspective and preserve a sense of purpose when our values and trust have been damaged or even destroyed. According to concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankl: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any how” (Man’s Search for Meaning, 1946).
Realizing the importance of social support and spirituality/meaning, how do we strengthen these two dimensions of our lives? What can we do while life is relatively peaceful to prepare for the challenges that may lie ahead? How do we stay healthy and buoyant when life becomes difficult?
Maintaining relationships with family, friends, and significant others takes time and involves showing up for social occasions. Regular contact is important for helping some of us to feel connected; for others, occasional, in-depth conversations or shared experiences are enough to affirm the bond. Even when we feel strong and self-sufficient, it’s a good idea to stay in touch with the ones who personally matter, both for our sake and for theirs. Carving out time in our busy lives to enjoy the presence of those we love and depend on makes all the difference. Social events can also be enjoyable!
Developing our sense of spirituality/meaning happens in a variety of ways, including:
· being part of a community with shared values,
· participating in religious services and activities,
· pursuing spiritual practices and disciplines that strengthen our sense of spiritual identity,
· reading, reflection, and education,
· engaging in thoughtful conversations with like-minded others, and
· learning through personal growth.
Attending to spiritual and existential questions and needs requires active commitment, but when life threatens our sense of integrity, safety, trust, or well-being, our sense of meaning may help to keep us intact. It may take years to develop a steady sense of faith, hope, and love, but the effort is well worth it during times when life falls apart. Rather than waiting for the storm to come to figure out how to survive it, we fare better in the end by investing all along in social support and spirituality/meaning. Taking care of ourselves will help us take care of others also and inevitably make the world a better place to live.
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