holiday tips for handling grief

As we approach the holidays between now and January 2011, doing so without a loved one that has passed during the year will likely be difficult.  It's not only one of the many "firsts" that occur in the initial year of grieving, but for many, some of the most challenging "firsts."  Here are some tips for handling holiday grief that may be useful.  Share them with others you know.

1. Decide what you can handle comfortably and let family and friends know.  Can I handle the responsibility of the family dinner or should I ask someone else to do it this year?  Do I want to stay home or spend the holidays in a different environment?
2. Make small changes if they feel comfortable to you.  Open presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning.  Vary the timing of the Chanukah gifts.  Have dinner at a different place.  Let the children do the baking, the decorating, etc.
3. Consider doing something special for someone else.  Donate a gift in the memory of a loved one.  Donate money you might have spent on your loved one as a gift to charity.  Give to a needy family.  Invite a special guest to share festivities or meals.
4. Recognize you loved one's presence in the family.  Burn a candle to quietly include your loved one.  Hang a stocking for others to place notes with their feelings and thoughts.  Listen to his or her music.  Look at special photographs.
5. If you decide to do holiday shopping, make a list ahead of time and be selective about a day that works best for you or do your shopping online.
6. Observe the actual holidays in ways that are comfortable for you.  There is no right or wrong here.  It's only important that you are able to derive meaning from the observance.  Let you friends and family know what you've decided to do and ask for their support. 
7. Try to get enough rest and nutrition--holidays can be emotionally and physically draining under even the best of circumstances.  As much as possible, keep your sleep schedule and mealtimes as routine as you can.  Taking care of your body always helps lower your stress.
8. If you need someone to talk to or need professional support, remember your EAP.  Give us a call.  We can help.