cats have only nine

I’ve always heard it said that “cats have nine lives” so if humans live so many years longer, how many lives might we have? One of my favorite authors, in writing his autobiography, began by stating he felt each chapter of his book represented a distinctly unique segment of his life—that he had in fact, “lived in chapters.” There were twelve at the time of publication.

Most of us could probably write our own biography in a similar fashion with unique segments or years making up one chapter after another: early childhood, teen years, college or first job, marriage, subsequent marriage, children, first trauma, a job loss, a major accomplishment, etc. You get the picture. There is no doubt that over a lifetime we all go through any number of significant transitions that require we adjust our perspectives and often demand that we learn new ways of coping.

What is it that allows us to adjust or successfully move from one chapter to another? Could it be that resiliency, sometimes defined as “the ability to cope well with high levels of disruptive change,” is exactly that element? I think so. But how does one develop their resiliency so that they are not just coping or managing stress, but actually minimizing its effects, preventing some of its disruptions, and achieving personal growth?

No absolute formula for developing or improving resiliency exists but of one thing I am certain. A good memory is essential. True, sometimes we think we would rather forget certain unpleasant occurrences, but without our memory we simply can’t learn what we need to know. When new challenges present themselves, bravely allow yourself to remember previously difficult times, and with that memory, recall the actions you took, the resources you put into play, the people whose support you sought, and the feelings of competency or accomplishment that resulted. Pretty soon, you’ll begin to form a picture of what worked and why. Situations change, but an effective strategy in the past is likely to be part of your success in the present.