Financial woes, marriage and family demands, generational challenges, job insecurity--the list goes on and on and on. Turn on the television or pick up a newspaper and all you hear or read only seems to reinforce your belief that the world is in a mess. In fact, to listen to some, the world has never been in such a mess as it is now. And, of course, someone is to blame.
Difficulty finding words to describe “how this makes you feel?” How about worried, angry, sad, woeful, depressed, gloomy, resentful, victimized, worked-up, skeptical, distrusting, perplexed, insecure, anxious, distant, discouraged, dismal, irritated, hesitant, despairing, frightened, annoyed, alarmed, and nervous? (To suggest only a few.)
Have you ever wondered why there are so many so-called “reality shows” on TV? I think it’s because watching someone else’s misfortune and ill judgment somehow deflects from the pain we feel for ourselves. Either we can laugh because we’re glad it’s not us, or we find ourselves saying, “You think that’s bad? My life is the one that ought to be on TV!”
For most of us, emotional pain, like physical pain, becomes a strong motivator. A moment’s touch of the hot stove is all the information we need to know that our hand is in the wrong place. If we are truly resilient, we remember the source of the pain and take all means available to either avoid it in the future or to find a better way to provide personal warmth.
Resiliency is sometimes defined as, “the ability to return to normal by bouncing back from the ups and downs of life.” Most of the time we are unaware of our efforts but when the ups and downs become too great we need to consciously think about even the simple responses that maintain our emotional stability. Here are some reminders:
1. Talk to good listeners.
2. Avoid numbing the pain with overuse of alcohol, drugs or excessive behaviors.
3. Tell your family. Let them know you are struggling and need their understanding.
4. Spend time with others.
5. Help your co-workers by sharing feelings and checking how they are doing.
6. Keep a journal, particularly when you can't sleep.
7. Do things that feel good to you and are good for you.
8. Get plenty of rest. Drink plenty of water. Eat balanced meals.
9. Avoid making major life decisions or major changes. If you must, seek sound advice from someone you trust.
10. Make as many everyday decisions as you can to help exercise your self-control.
11. Be kind to yourself.
12. Get good exercise. A brisk walk elevates mood and improves physical health.
13. LAUGH as often as you can. It may really be the best medicine.
14. Seek professional help if needed. Encourage your co-workers and family to do so.
I'm not suggesting that if you employ these measures that your stressors will just go away. But I do know that using them will reinforce your own strength and allow you to identify ways through the challenges that you are facing. Every time we use positive coping skills, no matter how simple they seem, we build on our abilities to bounce back. Resiliency is something we can learn.
Feeling overwhelmed? Give your EAP a call. We can help you identify the strengths you need. 770-834-8327
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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