steady . . . one step at a tiime

Why is it that the idea of making a New Year’s resolution creates such anxiety or downright avoidance in most of us? Is it that we simply don’t believe we can change how we eat or how we dress or spend money or whether or not we exercise? Is the notion that we might actually be able to stop smoking or cut back on our drinking or become nicer to our family or co-workers really so unbelievable?

For many of us, a New Year’s resolution is not merely a simple choice, but a forever commitment. So rather than take a chance on failure, letting down ourselves and everyone else, we just don’t begin the process. And maybe that’s the problem in itself. But then, self-improvement was never meant to be perfection.

So how do we begin? First, start by quieting all those inner voices that attempt to tell you what you “should” do. Remind them that their shoulds and your shoulds may not at all be the same.

Second, select a change that you want to make and then pick it apart. Separate it into its many components. For instance, getting more exercise isn’t just about sweating. It’s also about what time of day works best; what kind of exercise is appropriate or safe; how much time you are willing to commit; indoors or outdoors; home or gym, etc.

Third, think small. Be easy on yourself but make it real. Ten minutes a day that you can stick with makes much more sense than an hour that will never happen.

Fourth, tell your family or closest friend. We are much more likely to follow through with change when we let others know our intentions. Give them permission to occasionally ask you how you are doing.

Finally, determine a start date and when it arrives, BEGIN. Be patient with yourself because worthwhile change doesn’t happen overnight. It is estimated that it takes 3-6 weeks either to form new habits or to break old ones. Most of us can stay with short term commitments so by the time the fifth or sixth week passes, we’re amazed that it has actually begun to feel like a new habit.

If you’re still not sure how to begin or want some additional support for the short run, call your EAP office. We can provide lifestyle coaching and other resources to help you make this kind of important change. 770.834.8327.