a year of firsts

Who doesn’t look forward to the holiday season? Who doesn’t find joy in being with family and special friends during the time of year that is all about celebration, giving, and thanksgiving? The truth is, I do know a Scrooge or two, (or a Grinch or so), and they’ve pretty much been that way all their lives. I’m not a pessimist by nature, but there’s probably no changing some of them!

On the other hand, I also know a few folks, usually upbeat, for whom this holiday season will be decidedly more difficult that the one last year. These folks are working through what I sometimes call “the year of firsts.” It’s the first Thanksgiving without Dad. It’s the first Christmas without Mom. It’s the first birthday since we lost him. It’s the first anniversary we’ve not been together. It’s the first Winter; the first leaves of Fall; the first football season; the first Easter; the first Chanukah . . . It’s a whole year of firsts!

One day at a time, one month at a time, one special season or event or holiday at a time, draws out the process for at least one long year. There’s a blessing in there. We likely couldn’t handle all the emotions at one time that we will gradually experience over the course of the twelve months. The downside is that grieving is truly hard work. So, to be successful, there are some things you might consider doing:

• Stay busy but find time to laugh, and think, and pray.

• Practice thanksgiving for the time you had together and for what they taught you and learned from you.

• Write. Write about your thoughts and feelings. Write a letter to the one who is no longer here. Write a letter to yourself.

• Spend time with your real friends. They may not always know what to say but you need them and they need you just as much.

• Stay in the present. Spending too much time in the past or future isn’t productive. Make the best use you can of each day as it comes.

• Don’t forget to get some sleep, eat a few foods that are good for you, and get a little exercise along the way. Pretty basic but life sustaining.

• If you get stuck doing the work, find someone to talk to that is a good listener, be it a friend or a professional. The EAP is always a good choice. It’s confidential and costs you nothing other than the time.

We certainly hope the coming holidays will be good for you and will provide the joy and renewal that we all seek. If there is anything we can do, please call us. 770.834.8327

back to nature

Nature is therapeutic. Enjoying fresh air, sunshine (in moderation), pets , the sounds, sights, and aromas of the outdoors, and the other many wonders of nature can lift your mood and improve your physical health. Most of us do not appreciate even a small fraction of the many blessings that nature provides us. When is the last time you:

• gazed at the clouds
• walked barefoot in the grass
• waded in a creek
• stargazed
• played with an animal
• watched a sunrise
• watched a sunset
• went on a picnic
• tended a garden
• appreciated a tree?

Most of us in our busy lives do not take much time to enjoy the wonders of nature. There is more and more research that shows the benefits of being in and interacting with nature. Nursing home residents given a plant to care for tend to live longer. The CDC reports that pet ownership can decrease your blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and feelings of loneliness while increasing your opportunities for exercise, outdoor activities, and socialization.

(http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health_benefits.htm)

Many hospitals and treatment centers, including our own Willowbrooke at Tanner, use pet (or animal-assisted) therapy, horticulture therapy, and equine therapy as tools for helping people to be healthier and happier.

So when you get a chance enjoy the beauty, the wonders, and the health-promoting properties of nature. Remember that you are a part of nature, too. So appreciate and take care of your amazing body and mind.

You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
and whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
From Desiderata by Max Ehrmann